Time for me to expose another silly thing I believed as a Mormon. Except this one isn’t a weird random thought, it’s actually mainstream. It’s a commonly held belief and a commonly expressed attitude.
In fact, I heard it just recently as a response to one of my Facebook posts. And this was someone who doesn’t even believe in the exact LDS church anymore, but you keep seeing these strange beliefs continuing to exist even after Mormonism. It’s a terrible plague of brainwashing:
Christians are in Kindergarten.
They don’t know very much. All they talk about is grace. They think there’s only one God! 🙄
They only have one book of scripture!
They only have baptism, not the rest of the ordinances!
They only believe in one heaven!
They only have prayer, not priesthood blessings!
They only go to church on Sunday, not a bunch of other religious things.
They only encourage tithes, not require them.
They only have salvation, not exaltation!
They only have pastors, not prophets and apostles!
They don’t have the Word of Wisdom!
They don’t have temples!
They don’t have priesthood!
Christians are in Kindergarten.
But we are members of the Restored Gospel, the True Church! We have it all!
We are in Calculus!
Christians are from Planet Loser…
(Sorry, can’t resist a 90’s reference!)
But really. Look at me, Look at me.
How embarrassing that I used to say those exact things!
How shameful that I was so proud!
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard it: Christians are in Kindergarten. We are in Calculus. We have so much more! Why would you ever give it up? Where would you go?
You’re not gonna go to Planet Loser, are you???
But now that I’m on the other side of this, I realized something very wrong with this analogy. Even if it were true, the analogy to school grades is terrible!!
And so I replied to this Facebook friend in this recent conversation,
“Calculus doesn’t deny Kindergarten. Calculus doesn’t contradict basic addition and subtraction!”
Calculus might be more advanced, but it builds on Kindergarten math.
It doesn’t replace it.
1+1 is still 2, even when e = mc squared
So Mormons are basically denying the most simple and basic knowledge there is.
Cuz when you said it was “Kindergarten” to believe in the trinity, but then “Calculus” denied the trinity, we have a problem.
When you said it was “Kindergarten” to believe in grace alone, and then changed it to religious performances and laws, we have a problem.
And you said it was “Kindergarten” to claim the Bible is sufficient, and then “Calculus” says the Bible is insufficient, corrupt, and changed.
(But Joseph Smith is the one who changed it beyond the ancient manuscripts….🤔)
These are polar opposites!
Calculus is not the opposite of Kindergarten!!
Consider this: We put Isaiah in Kindergarten when he spoke Messianically saying “There is only one God” and “There is no one like me,” because Calculus says there are infinite Gods in a never-ending family line.
And then when our Fiction Jesus said “Study the word of Isaiah!” we put Jesus in Kindergarten!
(And meanwhile, the esoteric Mormon study groups dug into Avraham Gileadi to find all the secret top-notch prophecies in Kindergarten Isaiah that only the smartest Mormons could understand—Oh, the irony!!)
You see how silly this is.
How embarrassing to claim this!
I openly apologize to anyone I said this to, even in my thoughts!
All I Possess 