A year and a half ago, my world shattered when I came to the realization that the beliefs I had held onto for nearly 40 years were probably all lies.
Most who find themselves in this place of LDS faith crisis do so because they have found the narratives of the church don’t check out with a simple examination of facts.
But for me, it was more than that.
If a squirrel up in a tree is the narrative, the tree itself — everything that squirrel rests on — is the doctrines. The scriptures.
As soon as I looked into the polygamy narrative — literally the exact day I accepted it was all lies — I realized the scriptures were fake.
132 was a fake.
If canonized scripture can be faked, how do I trust any of their other canonized scripture?
Once I saw the very plain and obvious fact that D&C 132 and Jacob 2 can’t both be true, I began to see it all over the place —
D&C 130 and Lectures on Faith #5 can’t both be true. (But somehow they were both canonized “revelations” from God.)
D&C 76 and the Book of Mormon’s doctrine of binary heaven/hell can’t both be true. (But somehow they are both taught in LDS meetinghouses across the world!)
The idea of the premortal life in the book of Abraham and the Book of Mormon’s doctrine of becoming children of God at the moment of conversion can’t both be true.
The 1838 First Vision account and the Book of Mormon’s doctrine that the Everlasting Father, himself, came to earth to atone for sin can’t both be true.
The doctrine of doing ordinances for the dead and the Book of Mormon’s doctrine that those who died without the law are already saved can’t both be true.
The claim of eternal families and the JST /Inspired Translation of the Bible’s consistency with the Biblical doctrine of no marriage in heaven both can’t be true.
You see?
There are a dozen others, but I’m tired. 🤣 So I think you get what I’m saying here.
The scriptures simply weren’t true anymore.
Everyone, whether they realize this issue or not, has to take a side. If canonized sources contradict, which one will you believe?
For virtually all believing Mormons, they’ve got to side with the current leadership and the General Conference teachings of their generation.
For me, I couldn’t.
I couldn’t look straight at what the scriptures say and then believe something else.
I had to choose a side…
And so I chose the Bible.
Whatever the Bible says is true, and any “scripture” or “prophet” in discrepancy would be false.
Now, I can handle a couple stories that got mixed up or exaggerated over 200 years. The narrative lies were shocking but I could have dealt with it, if that’s all it was.
But what I couldn’t handle was the LDS scriptures being inconsistent, with contradictions all over the place, and with evolving doctrine every couple years and every couple prophets.
I couldn’t handle the scriptures not being true.
And I couldn’t stay in a church like that.
The trust was completely gone.
At that point it was all over.
All I Possess 