We didn’t send out a Christmas letter this year. And we are not quite ready to be super public about this, but I thought it would be fun to go ahead and express it anyway, for my blog readers. And let it go down in history for when we do go public!
Dear friends,
What an exciting 2024 we’ve had! So much has happened this year!
Let me remind you where we left off at the end of 2023. We had been going to the temple several times a week. It was a crazy little hobby/fascination/hyper focus.
At the same time, I began to get really interested in examining some claims and studying Mormon church history.
Also, we were going through a lot of very difficult trials with our two youngest girls and their mental health. E had quit competitive gymnastics after winning her first competition and excelling in others, which was a huge shock and heartbreak for me since she wasn’t really able to make the choice on her own, rationally. She was forced to make that choice due to her anxiety. I felt like we had completely failed. I had always been able to help my kids overcome their obstacles and address any mental or physical health symptom up to this point.
At the same time, our next daughter, A, regressed in her toilet training and other personal habits (and still has not recovered). And wouldn’t change her clothes, and became super obstinate and emotional.
So with that trial, in addition to having very little support (or even awareness) from family or ward members, we entered 2024.
Church felt so empty. I continued attending the temple, and much preferred it over attending church. I liked how the temple was optional so it was a lot more genuine, with people really needing to be there. And they didn’t walk around with plastic smiles glued to their faces. They often came in their vulnerability, seeking refuge from the world and God’s peace.
That’s why I was there.
And even as I learned more about church history and began to have some major doubts, I continued to attend the temple. I thought of it as a “faith tradition” that was offering peace to many people, not harming anything. And I continued to attend for that same peace.
And when I drove to work and back, I would listen to Connor Boyack’s Sunday Musings and Hello Saints on YouTube. The wheels were definitely turning.
The doubts on my shelf continued to accumulate.
But I would still defend the church on the comments section of Hello Saints.
Until one day he was right.
And it hit me like a ton of bricks!
For Mormons, the family is an idol. Jesus is a means to an end.
I realized he had been right about everything, and began to listen more closely so I could learn from him.
And I read a book comparing LDS beliefs to RLDS. I realized you can’t trace the temple ordinances or much of any “weird Mormon stuff” back to Joseph Smith. This book taught me that the doctrine of becoming Gods is incorrect, and not founded on scripture at all!
But the entire point of the temple is that…
One day I realized I can’t keep going to the temple as an innocent “faith tradition.” If the temple is not exactly what it claims to be, then it is completely blasphemous!
I could not offend God like that.
I never went again.
At this time I had also been reading the Book of Mormon in greater depth, looking at what it actually teaches, apart from any association with the LDS church. And it floored me.
The Book of Mormon wasn’t an LDS book at all!! It taught many doctrines that are clearly Protestant!
Well, that doesn’t make any sense with the claim to have a “more correct book” and the need to call the Bible’s credibility into question or start a new church.
More and more, things just weren’t adding up.
And my shelf completely, utterly broke. Demolished.
Church was boring. It always had been. I made the decision to try a different church. And it was amazing. They actually worshiped God there! They don’t pretend to be perfect. Their sermons were incredible! I looked forward each week to going back. It was my sustenance, my fuel, my medicine.
I studied the Bible and saw things I’ve never seen before. I found so many things that clearly, outright contradict the LDS church. How can the church claim to believe this book? And also throw it aside at the same time??
Well friends, the rest is history.
And that was only spring.
2024 was an amazing year for us. My husband, R, was entirely on board by the end of summer. My son, T, left Mormon church never to return.
But it wasn’t amazing because we stepped away from the Mormon church. It was amazing because we stepped closer to Jesus Himself. In his fold, as believers in 100% grace, saved as born-again Christians.
It’s amazing because I don’t dread church anymore. It’s the highlight of our week!
And I don’t feel broken beneath my burdens anymore.
And I’m not looking to any human to come relieve me, or a church program to support me, or a family member to help me.
I wake up with a spring in my step. We listen to worship songs while we work. We hug and kiss, and pray with such gratitude and praise for our Lord.
It’s also amazing because R and I are closer than we’ve ever been. While many faith transitions break up marriages, becoming Christian has save our marriage, renewed our bond, and united us like nothing else ever has.
We have Jesus!
I can’t wait to tell you how 2025 goes.
Love, the J family.
✨
“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” (Phil 3:7-9)
All I Possess 