In Acts 2, a rushing wind of the Holy Spirit comes upon the believers. No hands were placed on anyone’s head; it was purely spontaneous.
My whole life, I’ve never really understood this LDS claim of exclusive rights to the “gift of the Holy Ghost.”
I was aware enough to know the Holy Ghost was not with me all the time.
I was also aware enough to know I didn’t have any special spiritual privilege my friends lacked.
What the heck is the gift of the Holy Ghost? We can say that phrase all the time, and we can say it til we are blue in the face, but that doesn’t make it mean anything.
News flash: Mormons don’t have any more “Holy Ghost” than any other Christian.
But now you can have it ALL the time.
Like I said, how is that any different from anyone else?
Do you honestly think a Christian, living their life for God and seeking His spirit is going to be told “no, it’s not time for you. If you want it all the time, you gotta be Mormon.”
And last I checked, Mormons have depression and anxiety just the same as anybody.
I think anybody can ask God for peace, or guidance, or strength, and generally He shows up for you.
Cuz He’s awesome like that.
He doesn’t care if you’ve ever been to church. He doesn’t care if you were baptized prior.
So what is “the Spirit” anyway? How do you know if you’re feeling it?
It’s fairly common in the LDS church to think any pleasant emotion is the Spirt — but only if you’re calm. Excited is not a feeling of the spirit. And they think the Spirit cannot be in a loud place.
I’m concerned that sometimes the Spirit is equated to quietness. Like when they tell kids to be reverent, what they’re really saying is to sit still and be quiet. Don’t get be wrong, good behavior is important and should be taught. But it’s an entirely separate thing from honoring God and experiencing the Holy Spirit.
I want my kids to know the Spirit means something! It means something amazing! It doesn’t just mean quiet.
My experience at LDS church is that it is quiet, slow-paced, with very calm speakers. Nobody gets passionate about anything. But boredom isn’t always peace. Boredom is not a fruit of the spirit.
Sometimes at LDS church I would feel edified. Encouraged. Instructed. Maybe like 10-20% of the times I attended. So I’m not saying it never happens. But it’s all pretty up in the air, with various lay speakers who didn’t ask to be there. Who may or may not have knowledge on the subject. Who may or may not have prepared their talk.
It’s a culture of obligation, plastic smiles, rigid routines and rare vulnerability.
What bothers me the most is that there’s no responsibility for this. A church should be aware of the fact that the whole point is to edify people.
Instead, the church blames and gaslights you. If you don’t feel the spirit, it’s because you’re not prepared. You’re not worthy. Your heart isn’t in the right place.
And I am aware that I can call upon the Spirit myself, wherever I am. But I shouldn’t have to fight to do this for myself what I’m at church.
The music shouldn’t put me to sleep.
I fought and struggled for years to feel inspired at church.
I just felt like the motions were down pat. Everyone looked the part. But it was empty.
I was left wanting.
Finally in March 2024 I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed God so bad. I was not feeling Him at my LDS ward. And it was not my fault.
So I went to The Well.
It was loud. I’m not gonna lie.
And the Spirit was powerful. The worship music changed me. It turned me around. It taught me new doctrines.
Tears ran down my face as I sang to God. We told Him how amazing He is. We sang in gratitude and surrender. We sang passionately, with our hearts.
The people stood. They clapped. They raised their arms to heaven.
And the Pastor was sometimes loud. He was energetic and passionate.
But he quoted more scripture in one service than probably 100 LDS sacrament meetings.
And so I learned scripture!
I was edified like never before.
But my arms weren’t folded. I was wearing jeans. People around me were drinking coffee. Might as well be a tavern in there ….
And the room was filled with the Holy Spirit.
It felt like fire. A burning desire. A desire to align my life—my very identity—with God’s.
It was awe. An awe I’ve never felt in the LDS church or temple.
God was suddenly so much bigger than I ever knew!
I finally realized I was nothing. My works were filthy rags.
This is what the Holy Spirit feels like — to know God for a moment. To get a glimpse of how grand He is, and how small I am — and how blessed I am to have Him in my life.
I’m so thankful my understanding finally evolved and I’m not stuck in that box anymore.
All I Possess 