When I was 16 years old, I had a boyfriend I totally adored. But when I cut my hair into a pixie style, he suddenly stopped talking to me.
A couple weeks went by. He was ignoring me. We drifted apart.
Finally, I called him and broke up with him. He was devastated.
Confusing.
Who broke up with whom? I mean, clearly I called it off. But that was only because he had basically already disowned me.
It was devastating for me too.
It took me months to get over him. I have half a journal filled with my love for him and sadness that it ended. In my mind, he had broken up with me.
(Apparently, his friends had been teasing him for having a “boy” girlfriend because of my haircut. But even with that admitted, my hair wouldn’t be long again anytime soon, and now I had lost respect for him in that it had even been such an issue at all. I really liked my style, and I wasn’t apologizing!)
My hand was forced.
I feel the same way about the church.
In a way, I am heartbroken and really sad that it’s not what it claims to be. A part of me wishes I had never found out.
I resent the fact that they made me leave.
They made me get angry.
They made me go try another church.
They made things really hard, and weird for me to relate to Mormons the same way.
They made my life complicated.
They made me take 100 hours doing research and study to investigate many things.
Life is hard in a way now, that I never saw coming.
I didn’t ask for this!
I loved the church. I was a full-on 100% believing member, and had big aspirations of giving my life to the church. I had it all. I “knew all the answers.” I was better than everyone.
Funny how God humbles you sometimes.
So, did the church break up with me? Is the LDS church in apostasy? (Make sure you click and read that post too!)
All I Possess 